I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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