We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He had one of those small greek statue penises
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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