well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
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It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
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he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.