I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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