And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
