Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.

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  (240): Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't. http://tfl.nu/mosr
  Replies (12) Good night (4554) Bad night (1106)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.

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  (703): She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself. http://tfl.nu/tn32
  Replies (17) Good night (4202) Bad night (1989)
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  (760): View more from California

  i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.

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  (760): i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days. http://tfl.nu/h902
  Replies (11) Good night (2083) Bad night (965)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all

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  (250): After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all http://tfl.nu/42sy
  Replies (23) Good night (1140) Bad night (3009)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye

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  (781): No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye http://tfl.nu/qnov
  Replies (12) Good night (1100) Bad night (2789)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons

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  (416): When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons http://tfl.nu/nkke
  Replies (5) Good night (1800) Bad night (614)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.

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  (253): they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest. http://tfl.nu/yx0q
  Replies (21) Good night (3829) Bad night (713)
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  (+90): View more from Turkey

  I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.

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  (+90): I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later. http://tfl.nu/oo4d
  Replies (7) Good night (526) Bad night (1208)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us

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  (413): I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us http://tfl.nu/sfif
  Replies (6) Good night (571) Bad night (1041)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.

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  (419): We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful. http://tfl.nu/rk3h
  Replies (6) Good night (1058) Bad night (394)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis

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  (703): that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis http://tfl.nu/car4
  Replies (7) Good night (1055) Bad night (482)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.

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  (330): Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me. http://tfl.nu/bro7
  Replies (9) Good night (1076) Bad night (382)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole

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  (720): Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole http://tfl.nu/mr1r
  Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (273)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.

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  (407): If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/rq3w
  Replies (3) Good night (607) Bad night (283)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b

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  (403): Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b http://tfl.nu/9tf8
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (265)

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