Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.

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(559): View more from California

He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(405): View more from Oklahoma

Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?

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(310): View more from California

This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?

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(520): View more from Arizona

Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window

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(404): View more from Georgia

She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.

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(559): View more from California

You ate ashes out of my bong

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