Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.

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  (608): No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat. http://tfl.nu/i15q
  Replies (14) Good night (3503) Bad night (842)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer

  (214): View more from Texas

  ... I'm KD

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  (903): I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer (214): ... I'm KD http://tfl.nu/mzja
  Replies (38) Good night (706) Bad night (2338)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him

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  (856): Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him http://tfl.nu/33vk
  Replies (18) Good night (999) Bad night (5490)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.

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  (715): apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night. http://tfl.nu/2r4z
  Replies (6) Good night (4414) Bad night (930)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.

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  (708): You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx. http://tfl.nu/t703
  Replies (21) Good night (3579) Bad night (890)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.

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  (516): Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back. http://tfl.nu/h2g1
  Replies (26) Good night (9380) Bad night (1122)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please

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  (+27): i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please http://tfl.nu/h9fq
  Replies (3) Good night (923) Bad night (1377)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter

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  (717): Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter http://tfl.nu/zraa
  Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (1740)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'

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  (613): It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed' http://tfl.nu/zbjr
  Replies (2) Good night (1592) Bad night (519)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  That's all I've ever wanted.

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  (307): I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up. (303): That's all I've ever wanted. http://tfl.nu/ydlb
  Replies (6) Good night (1389) Bad night (522)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.

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  (606): Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7yx3
  Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?

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  (517): I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right? http://tfl.nu/axzn
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it

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  (601): I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it http://tfl.nu/z5ku
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (462)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed

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  (304): You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed http://tfl.nu/k800
  Replies (4) Good night (1609) Bad night (450)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?

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  (602): How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis? http://tfl.nu/64di
  Replies (4) Good night (465) Bad night (148)

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