My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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