his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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