If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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