bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
