Where is the hickey?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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