Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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