Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.

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  (651): A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life. http://tfl.nu/zayp
  Replies (16) Good night (4367) Bad night (758)
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  (209): View more from California

  His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.

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  (209): His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it. http://tfl.nu/5398
  Replies (19) Good night (6566) Bad night (832)
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  (516): View more from New York

  its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved

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  (516): its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved http://tfl.nu/wek7
  Replies (11) Good night (5452) Bad night (1481)
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  (518): View more from New York

  In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.

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  (518): In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it. http://tfl.nu/q114
  Replies (10) Good night (7743) Bad night (1084)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My vagina just recognized that song.

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  (973): My vagina just recognized that song. http://tfl.nu/3ui0
  Replies (7) Good night (3239) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru

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  (229): You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru http://tfl.nu/iwra
  Replies (10) Good night (4719) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

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  (865): What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"? http://tfl.nu/h7i9
  Replies (11) Good night (2513) Bad night (1890)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.

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  (860): We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn. http://tfl.nu/ndq7
  Replies (4) Good night (2971) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue

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  (847): I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue http://tfl.nu/po5k
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (1536)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.

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  (270): Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail. http://tfl.nu/dt82
  Replies (2) Good night (979) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window

  (212): View more from New York

  i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there

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  (212): you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window (212): i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there http://tfl.nu/q2cr
  Replies (3) Good night (1107) Bad night (566)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter

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  (571): Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter http://tfl.nu/fvpm
  Replies (2) Good night (991) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons

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  (201): If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons http://tfl.nu/cqi1
  Replies (0) Good night (596) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.

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  (719): Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home. http://tfl.nu/lmo1
  Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (157)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story

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  (815): not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story http://tfl.nu/tzip
  Replies (4) Good night (128) Bad night (179)

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