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• (503): View more from Oregon

  after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down

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• (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...

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• (516): View more from New York

  We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (585): View more from New York

  I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"

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• (415): View more from California

  He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.

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