Texts From Last Night

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  (469): View more from Texas

  Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.

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  (469): Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option. http://tfl.nu/owbc
  Replies (10) Good night (2715) Bad night (711)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.

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  (504): Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon. http://tfl.nu/mwyy
  Replies (19) Good night (1171) Bad night (4203)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well

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  (401): its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well http://tfl.nu/qkzl
  Replies (20) Good night (1437) Bad night (5275)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.

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  (785): My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/kbij
  Replies (25) Good night (5336) Bad night (1664)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.

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  (336): While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus. http://tfl.nu/10to
  Replies (16) Good night (5488) Bad night (1131)
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  (914): View more from New York

  tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.

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  (914): tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw. http://tfl.nu/h6gx
  Replies (19) Good night (5587) Bad night (1221)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?

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  (662): There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/zwz2
  Replies (4) Good night (1176) Bad night (1627)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub

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  (918): Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub http://tfl.nu/8dtz
  Replies (8) Good night (1989) Bad night (1040)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?

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  (406): I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete? http://tfl.nu/gioo
  Replies (9) Good night (2101) Bad night (723)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.

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  (603): You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win. http://tfl.nu/zmbp
  Replies (3) Good night (1060) Bad night (433)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.

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  (207): Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me. http://tfl.nu/clpj
  Replies (10) Good night (1519) Bad night (975)
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  (760): View more from California

  I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.

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  (760): I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired. http://tfl.nu/xk23
  Replies (4) Good night (919) Bad night (385)
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  (408): View more from California

  Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.

  (408): View more from California

  Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly

  (1-408): View more from California

  I approve this so hard.

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  (408): Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon. (408): Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly (1-408): I approve this so hard. http://tfl.nu/8gh1
  Replies (4) Good night (1201) Bad night (283)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse

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  (970): I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse http://tfl.nu/7hjz
  Replies (7) Good night (472) Bad night (444)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.

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  (928): i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice. http://tfl.nu/k07n
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (312)

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