Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim

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  (603): That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim http://tfl.nu/zg39
  Replies (18) Good night (1704) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked

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  (607): Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked http://tfl.nu/f67s
  Replies (25) Good night (4815) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm

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  (248): I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm http://tfl.nu/t2ln
  Replies (105) Good night (8946) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.

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  (207): Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore. http://tfl.nu/fjzm
  Replies (39) Good night (1148) Bad night (6511) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving

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  (512): i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving http://tfl.nu/xstl
  Replies (19) Good night (1064) Bad night (3565) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.

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  (732): the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine. http://tfl.nu/ewch
  Replies (18) Good night (1701) Bad night (3978) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich

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  (619): Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich http://tfl.nu/k8p8
  Replies (14) Good night (5997) Bad night (1033) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.

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  (610): His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here. http://tfl.nu/72ey
  Replies (13) Good night (2056) Bad night (1097) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.

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  (705): Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over. http://tfl.nu/0oyy
  Replies (5) Good night (1998) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.

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  (707): Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/ll0f
  Replies (11) Good night (458) Bad night (1532) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!

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  (602): Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both! http://tfl.nu/0dax
  Replies (4) Good night (1257) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
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  (+69): View more from

  You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.

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  (+69): You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow. http://tfl.nu/jkt0
  Replies (3) Good night (364) Bad night (1871) Order T-Shirt
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.

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  (567): Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger. http://tfl.nu/4mv9
  Replies (6) Good night (672) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic

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  (778): the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic http://tfl.nu/wmnz
  Replies (5) Good night (1090) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?

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  (917): This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case? http://tfl.nu/t5hu
  Replies (4) Good night (665) Bad night (232) Order T-Shirt

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