well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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