pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Success! We fucked roommates!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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