fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
