A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My life is pants optional.
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