Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
