What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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