I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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