new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
