Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
