whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
