There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
