I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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