His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
