I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
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WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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