I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
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