He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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