well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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