How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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