you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
