I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
