It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
