i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
