I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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