Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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