yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
