You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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