my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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