Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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