Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
