i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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