Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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