we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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