is your mom at the bar?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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