heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
