Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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