I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
