will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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