I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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