You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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