Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
