He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
