so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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