New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
