hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
