i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
