I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you guys were way drunker than both of me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
