I wish my penis had an off switch
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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