remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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