I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
