Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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