We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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