was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize