You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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